Jocelynisms

At church during Easter service Jocelyn sat with us since she wasn't feeling well. During Pastor Dave's sermon at Vineyard Community Church:
Jocelyn: "Dad"
Me: "Yes Jocelyn? Please whisper."
Jocelyn: "Dad, this is boring. I already know all this stuff."
Me: "What?"
Jocelyn: "This is boring, I already know this stuff, I learned it in school."
Me (dumbfounded): "Well, just be quiet because there are people sitting near you who don't know this stuff yet."


During the week I ran home at lunchtime.
Me: "Hey, where's Addison?"
Jocelyn: "Oh, she's in the other room sleeping in her playpen"
Me: "Oh, OK, I'm glad she's sleeping."
Jocelyn: "You know Dad, she's kinda of like a cricket."
Me: "What? A cricket?"
Jocelyn: "Yeah, you know, she sleeps during the day and she's awake at night making all that noise."
Me (dumbfounded): "Uh, um, I guess you're right."